Photo by Sidd Jones of Dragon’s Landing.
Yesterday I had an interaction that was so wrong, on so many levels, I had to report it.
I was editing a State Government document at Empire House.
An agent of Federal Government Environment Policy arrived at my gate and pushed against the brick holding it shut.
He was a very young man in a fluorescent waistcoat that said: FREE INSULATION.
Here’s our conversation, distilled for your convenience:
Your gate’s weird.
The brick stops my dogs getting out.
Do you want free insulation? Government’s paying for it.
I’m not sure. When we renovated, we put in a false ceiling with new insulation. Still, one can never have too much insulation. Would my house qualify?
Can you see your insulation?
I think so.
Don’t reckon then; we could get audited.
I see.
[To mobile phone] Charge her the full $400. You’ll get the most that way. If she won’t pay $400, call me back and I’ll drop it. But you won’t make as much.
Well, thanks for stopping by …
We can rip your insulation out.
Why would you do that?
So you can get new insulation.
Well, it’s not very old, I’m not sure …
The new stuff’s really good.
So was mine. Would it have deteriorated much, given it’s only been in a few years?
Doesn’t matter. We can rip it out.
Even if there’s nothing wrong with it?
Yeah. If we write down that it’s ‘damaged’, it’s damaged.
Really?
Yeah. Everyone’s doing it. People are making heaps.
I see why there’s been some comment in the media about this scheme.
Yeah. [To mobile phone] I’m just up the road. You start; I’ll be there in two seconds.
[To me] Training.
Of course. Well, thanks for ...
Is this Number 16?
No; 10.
OK. See ya.
Bye.
As a tax-paying, business-optimising greenie, I was deeply affected by this immane and nefandous malefaction.
Today’s youth have a colourful term for it:
WTF?!
Thoughts?
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Get ready for business with MYOB and Wes...
5 simple steps to prepare your business ...
MYOB and BankLink unite to define a new ...
Working from home? You’re part of a ri...
How will the Federal Budget affect small...
Loading ...
Author
Adam Finlay
February 18, 2010 at 9:37 am
Deeply disturbing.
Your gate is weird though.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 9:51 am
Ha ha. Ironically, the gate is weird because my fence shifted when the ground dried out during the climate-change-induced drought.
The insulation is supposed to reduce power use to tackle climate change and restore rainfall so my fence can come back and make my gate normal again!
Author
Malcolm Owens
February 18, 2010 at 9:53 am
I absolutely hate that mentality.
These blokes are making a fortune by ripping the system and fail to grasp that when the ‘government’ pays it’s actually our taxes funding this.
Your gate is kinda strange by the way.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 9:54 am
OK, it’s going to be THAT kind of day, is it?! Strange indeed!
Gates aside, this is a hideous situation. Our money. Our planet. Our government. Their policy. Someone else’s greedy, scamming fingers. I feel sick to the core about this one.
Surviving climate change? My money’s still on the cockroaches!
Author
Stephanie
February 18, 2010 at 9:55 am
We have received numerous calls about the insulation. And apprently there is another Fed Gov scheme too – free engergy audits to see what your energy use is (they come into your home and look everything over). We receive regular calls about it and although I have told them no, they keep calling (I say I don’t want a stranger going through everything in my home – they say ‘but he’ll have an ID badge’ – anyone can make an ID badge! – it’s my home and my choice who I invite in!).
To top it off, 2 nights ago I received an automated call, with a recorded voice telling me that I have not taken up a Government offer and if I owned my home press 1, rented press 2, etc. I hung up.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 9:59 am
Thanks, Stephanie. This guy made the point that I’d have to move fast to beat the ‘deadline’. Didn’t seem relevant to this post, but maybe it’s a theme. I appreciate your comment.
Author
Stephanie
February 18, 2010 at 10:00 am
Cockroaches will survive anything. Well, cockroaches and Tupperware.
Author
Maree
February 18, 2010 at 10:03 am
Clearly you need a better gate brick to keep the THUGS OUT.
Can we call your controversial fence shifting climate problem gate-gate?
Author
Stephanie
February 18, 2010 at 10:06 am
Paul – Thanks. In your case it is concerning that they were suggesting ripping out perfectly fine insulation. Based on what the media is reporting (inferior insulation being used in some cases), your current insulation is probably better quality anyway.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:07 am
You’re dead right, Stephanie.
Very funny, Maree. I’m trading in my two Jack Russells for a Pitt Bull like the one that nearly bit one of them in halves (and nearly severed my finger) last year.
Desperate times…
Author
Stephanie
February 18, 2010 at 10:09 am
Maybe the Fed Gov can fund or subsidise your dog upgrade
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:13 am
Ha ha! The US has clunker laws. We need growler laws. Upgrade your canine to cope with diminishing resources and deteriorating social mores…
Sad to say it, but I don’t think Cormac McCarthy’s ‘The Road’ will be a work of fiction for too much longer…
Author
Malcolm Owens
February 18, 2010 at 10:13 am
Grahame 2.0, a cyborb on 4 legs. Maybe ditch the fence and plant a nice shrubbery. Better for the planet and may have bees to keep the insulation pests out.
Do the cockroaches have to be in the Tupperware to survive?
Author
Adam Finlay
February 18, 2010 at 10:13 am
But seriously, I am concerned about this whole climate-induced gate business, not just for gate’s today, but for our gate’s gates, and our gate’s gate’s gates after them.
That said, Darwinian theory suggests your gate might not survive the coming tempest. It is kinda weird.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:14 am
Gates use to be the pillars of our community.
Now, it seems, the horse has bolted.
Guess I’ll see you on the picket line!
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:16 am
Fonnie just flagged this article:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/02/18/2822929.htm
Author
Adam Finlay
February 18, 2010 at 10:24 am
The solution, clearly, is a well-insulated spaceship constructed of Tupperware and piloted by cockroaches. We could then cryogenically freeze your gate and wait out this warming trend in deep space.
I must say that this small business blog is full of practical advice. Thanks!
Author
Stephen Hamilton
February 18, 2010 at 10:24 am
Oh, you’ve hit a point that I’m rather touchy about at the moment. I’ve actually done a lot of work with a couple of reputable roofing and insulation businesses, and they are still valued clients.
Although I don’t work directly in this industry, I feel I have an understanding of the industry which is ‘up close and personal’.
When the Government first announced the insulation rebate scheme, it was originally open to installers who were existing & experienced operators (ie no fly-by-night cowboys).
The Government soon realised, however, that if they were to meet their promise of having the insulation program rolled out to meet their own deadline, the existing operators were not going to have sufficient capacity.
Hence, they decided to open the scheme up to all-comers. This was something that certainly helped with employment, but it meant the scheme became a slippery slope for home-owners who expected a professional job. It also was no co-incidence that people have died from poor practice (lack of training) when installing the insulation.
It has lead to far too many shonky, slack-jawed con-men who seem to have the attitude of the the gent you recently met at your gate.
At least he did you the courtesy of not holding up any false pretence. I guess…
Author
Stephen Hamilton
February 18, 2010 at 10:26 am
Wow! Obviously it’s hit a nerve with a lot of people…Only Adam had replied when I started writing my little rant, but no less than seventeen (!) comments appeared in the meantime.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:27 am
You are a killer, Adam!
Depending on how we handle our uranium, the cockroaches could evolve to defend our homes against all comers.
Including us!
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:27 am
Thank you, Stephen. My bloke was certainly candid. I think that’s one of the reasons this affair is so shocking.
You could say he failed to wrap it in cotton wool.
I greatly appreciate your input.
Author
Stephen Glanville
February 18, 2010 at 10:29 am
Well done Paul,
I feel well vindicated
As you are by now only too acutely aware, I’ve been bangin’ on about this stuff in here on many occasions…
This is another excellent example of the staggering quality of integrity and intelligence of our very own selves…and I’m not defending the Gov’t when I say this, but I have said too many times, that ‘the Gov’t’ is far from our biggest problem…
Is this how ‘small business’ (all ‘business’), is being our biggest earner? Again, I’ve been sayin’ it for too long…what is the ‘actual’ cost of our ‘earning’?
You want me to tell you? OUR BLUDDY CHILDREN’S FUTURES AND OUR CHILDREN’S LIVES!!! THAT’S WHAT! WAKE UP YOU BLINKERED PHILISTINE MORONS!!! And Yes! I’m talking to everyone! I challenge anyone to truthfully say that they have never done something like that?
I have! And I’ve written about in these very pages! When I was young and working in the Tyre Industry, I sold a customer his own spare tyre…I only did it once…it was not so much the fact that I lied to the customer that made me feel most sick, it was the gleeful response and insidious support that I got from my employers…they called it “great work”.
It would seem somehow insidiously reasonable to perhaps edit one of our culture’s long-treasured mantras/justifications/excuses – ‘All’s fair in love and war’. Perhaps it should read ‘All’s fair in trade and commerce’?
At least there’s something honest about ‘Prostitution’ as a profession…but this kinda stuff?..it makes the ‘Axis of Evil’ look like a Corporate R&D Lab!
It’s not one of our funniest posts mate…but lets hope it’s one of our most potent…
Mind you, when one starts exposing any kind of painful truth (especially like this), Schopenhauer’s Axiom kicks in:
“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
Yep! Let the finger-pointing begin!
You know we’re drowning in it?..
Cheers
Stephen G
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:35 am
Thank you, Stephen G. I thought you might have a view on this one. And you didn’t disappoint.
We’re having a bit of a giggle, but this issue and its wider context are DEADLY serious. I don’t see any spare habitable planets passing close by.
Will the agent of our evolution be our demise? Sure looks like it.
Our time starts … 200 years ago.
Author
Stephen Glanville
February 18, 2010 at 10:43 am
Hehe!
Not to mention that we have a new conspiracy on our hands – ‘Gate Gate’.
Though I don’t know how well the media will latch on to it?
Did you know baby cockroaches eat their elder’s pooh for their first few days?
Perhaps that’s why they can survive anything…they know when to stop eating it..
Cheers
Stephen G
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 10:46 am
Gate Gate.
Looks like an open-and-shut case to me.
Yet everything hinges on it.
Thanks for yet another fascinating scat fact, Stephen!
Author
Stephen Glanville
February 18, 2010 at 10:51 am
Ooh! I’m not even gunna try and best that one ol’ Bean
Gate, Vet and latch to ‘The Hassing’
Yes indeedy my man…’poohrification’ is at hand! Repent!
And don’t slam the brick on the way out…
Cheers
Stephen G
Author
Stephanie
February 18, 2010 at 11:05 am
We have implemented practices at home and work to do our bit for the environment. The Gov has initiatives to help on a larger scale (yes there is debate about some of them – but at least they are doing something). However in this case, it’s a shame that fly-by-nighters take advantage of it all, put property and lives at risk and tarnish the image of reputable businesses (both large and small).
Don’t let the brick hit you in the a… on the way out
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 11:13 am
Thank you, Stephanie. As a greenie, I was loath to flag a flaw in ANY initiative designed to help the planet.
I realise my words may be used to attack the government. But a policy is only as good as its execution, so I had to bite the bullet.
This bullet may yet end up in my bum. Still, sometimes, you just gotta stand up.
Author
Stephanie
February 18, 2010 at 11:43 am
Paul I totally agree. Great initiatives, but poor execution/implementation. And this needs to be highlighted (my last comment was not about your post, but about debate in the media about some of the initiatives – sorry – I’ll be clearer next time!).
Author
Sarah Mitchell
February 18, 2010 at 11:44 am
Hey Paul,
Talk about a customer service nightmare! Man alive. I can’t add another thing to what has already been said so eloquently. I will, however, record my opinion about rock stars/celebrities making policy. This, my friend, is what happens when we run popularity elections and with no focus on governance.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 11:46 am
I’m with you, Stephanie.
Thank you, Sarah.
Author
Cheryl C. Cigan
February 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm
What I found alarming while reading your post and each terrific comment was pity the business owners in the insulation business. If the government is installing this free, what happens to their business? It’s not like milk which you need to replenish every other day. Insulation is there for a long time.
Also, pity the legitimate business owners because now their industry is being tarnished by this roving band of [what do you guys call it way down there?] – who will take them seriously? What’s next, tarring driveways and flimsy roof shingles?
Oh, and Paul, I think your gate looks divine from way up here. At least you can access your gate. Ours are stuck shut and buried under two feet of snow. (More snowfall indeed thanks to you and your wishes!
Cheryl
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 12:38 pm
What a treat to hear from you, Cheryl!
Great points as usual. I really hope we can get some legitimate insulation people to present their views in here.
Roving band of: charlatans/shonks/ratbags/nongs/bullsh*t artists/rip-off merchants/con men/fraudsters… that should just about cover it.
Hope you’re keeping warm. Thanks so much for dropping by.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 12:57 pm
http://www.smartcompany.com.au/entrepreneur-watch/20100218-green-nightmare.html
Author
Stephen Hamilton
February 18, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Gate-gate – I love it! I was too busy being serious earlier (rightly so, mind you!) to fully appreciate the playful humour that was to be found here.
Oh well, I’ve had a good wee chuckle now.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 18, 2010 at 3:14 pm
What we learn in laughter, we seldom forget.
Author
Stephen Glanville
February 18, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Geez Stevo…that only took ya 4 1/2 hours mate! You are havin’ a big day…Hehe! ;-P
A wee chuckle…A bluddy WEE chuckle? We don’t do ‘wee chuckles’ here mate!..we’re either barbarically YAWPING from the ‘Blog-Tops’ of the World (Wide-Web), or we’re tryin’ to keep our brekky down!…You should know that… ;-P
Mind you, your arse was saved by bluddy ‘Oprah’ coming in at the end to save all our souls…Now THAT’s funny!
What we’re we talkin’ about? ;-P
And slam brick the out on don’t way…the…KO?
Cheers
NOT Stephen G ;-P
Author
Stephanie
February 19, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Here is the latest… http://www.theage.com.au/national/government-to-halt-insulation-scheme-20100219-okv7.html
Author
Paul Hassing
February 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Thanks, Stephanie. I didn’t spot that one. I’m very grateful that you took the time to mention it for our benefit!
Author
Sharron
February 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm
This same thing happened when the Govt offered subsidies for water tanks. I was in the industry at the time and had been for 15 years. Seemingly overnight a bunch of manufacturers (plastic mostly) popped up to cash in on the rush. Also a whole lot of “retailers” (buying from the manufacturers who had just popped up) appeared on every vacant lot in Queensland. When the rebate died off and with it the great demand, a lot of these “retailers” disappeared overnight taking with them the deposits or full payments made by unsuspecting members of the public. I understand why the Govt has these incentives but they really need to police them better.
Author
Paul Hassing
February 19, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Dear Sharron, sorry it took so long to see your comment. I jut found it hung up in the spam folder. We get that with new contributors sometimes.
Welcome to our discussion and thanks for adding your very valuable perspective.
I hear that Western Australia has also recently become a most unfun place to sell water tanks. Do you have a view on that? Best regards, P.
Author
Stephen Hamilton
February 19, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Why am I even surprised they’ve decided it was all just to too hard, and canned it? Meh!
Author
Stephen Hamilton
February 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Stephen G – Hehe, my use of ‘wee’ even vexes me, but I can’t seem to keep it out of use for too long. I think it is a result of me picking up on the New Zealand south island dialect (where I spend a bit of time).
Words like jandals, chillybin, and the accented emphasis on the vowel ‘u’ are not on the radar however!
Author
Paul Hassing
February 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm
If you can’t stand the heat… (never mind.)
Author
Paul Hassing
February 19, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Why don’t you bung a garage on your section then?!
Author
Paul Hassing
February 23, 2010 at 5:26 am
A view from the batt makers’ perspective:
http://www.theage.com.au/national/hundreds-of-insulation-jobs-to-go-20100222-orug.html
So sad that a fundamentally good idea should come unstuck due to rushed execution, poor monitoring and the greed of a few shonky installers.
Brand new insulation going to landfill? This really is a dreadful shame.
BTW, a massive cockroach confonted me in my bathroom this morning. The biggest I’ve ever seen…
Author
Paul Hassing
February 23, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Golly. Don’t think I’ll make any more jokes about this matter. It’s too tragic:
http://www.theage.com.au/national/garrett-under-fire-over-insulation-report-20100223-oz1d.html
Author
Paul Hassing
March 10, 2010 at 9:06 am
Latest:
http://www.theage.com.au/national/jobless-swamp-hotline-after-insulation-rebate-ends-20100309-pvx8.html
Author
Paul Hassing
March 16, 2010 at 9:31 am
Keep the home fires burning …
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/house-blaze-linked-to-roof-insulation-20100316-qae9.html
While our hearts are yearning …
Author
Paul Hassing
March 17, 2010 at 7:12 am
Humans: 0. Cockroaches: 4.
http://www.news.com.au/national/chinese-made-batts-shredded-yellow-pages-may-have-ended-up-in-roofs/story-e6frfkvr-1225841614154?from=public_rss
Author
Stephen Glanville
March 17, 2010 at 9:44 am
Bless ya fire-retardant soxes for your unassailable tenacity ol’ Bean.
I’m so relieved that at that crucial point in your young life, you chose the path less traveled.
Had you chosen otherwise?…Well, we’re seeing how much damage ordinary idiots can do; with your brilliance and incredible capacity for multi-focused memory, we would be in even deeper do-do 
…
As I recall, we’ve spoken on various of your fine posts about ‘how people treat their fellow countrymen’. Is it really going to take another war to wake these dickheads up?…or is a sudden catastrophic climate shift our only hope?
Where does the responsibility lay…really? Are we still so infantile as to think that the Government is responsible for everything?
Now I’m not defending Peter Garret as a Minister, but I have met him a few times (in the good ol’ days), and spent a bit of time with him, and I considered him a decent bloke. Is it possible that he actually is a decent bloke? Is it possible that he chose the path less traveled too? That he chose (perhaps naively), to give the ‘Tradies’ of Australia a bit of credit for their ability to ‘do the right thing’? And what did some of them do? They did the same bluddy things that they complain about Telstra, BigPond, Banks, Insurance Companies, the Tax Office doing…didn’t they? They ‘SCREWED THEIR NEIGHBOURS FOR A FEW EXTRA BUCKS!!! AND BEYOND THIS THEY EVEN KILLED A FEW FOLKS ALONG THE WAY!!! AND THEN BLAMED THE GOVERNMENT?….
Is it any wonder that the big companies behave the way they do?..they are filled with people like us. Blind selfish little philistines that won’t see beyond our own immediate greed.
Well congratulations fellas…you should feel real proud. And thanks for going the extra mile to do that little bit extra damage to our country and our people when we needed it most…and then blaming someone else…
In a Pubic School, I believe it’s called ‘Bullying’…in Public Law I believe it’s called Treason, in Public Morality I believe it’s called COWARD!!!
And those bluddy reporters aren’t much better…heading that article with “Chinese made-batts….”…how long are we going to keep blaming the Chinese for our own shortcomings? We’d better hope they don’t get as insulted, offended and pissed off as me…
Sincerely ashamed to be associated with these so called ‘Australians’…
Stephen G
Author
Paul Hassing
March 17, 2010 at 9:53 am
Thanks for the big thumbs up, Stephen.
Your welcome feedback sure is a two-edged sword. I sense my personal worth, while decrying my country, race and species.
These are some dark days, illuminated only by an increasing number of roof fires.
The irony of new yellow pages books being stolen to load family homes with fire bombs – all in the name of saving the planet – is exquisite.
I too thought Peter was a good bloke, but that acid-leach uranium mine he OKed rather stuck in my craw (before dissolving it).
Australians love a close finish. I think we’re about to get one.
Author
Stephen Glanville
March 17, 2010 at 10:54 am
You’re very welcome mate
Re: Ok’ing acid-leach uranium mine:
Indeed I can well understand your response to that situation and others like it.
At the risk of ‘preaching’ or stating the absolutely obvious, which of course has never stopped me before
, I offer the following:
There are a great many great people that whole-heartedly believe that ‘Government’ is a place in which they can create change. This is complete and utter folly.
The very premise of democratic government is to act in accord with the views of the people. It is my firm belief (and I don’t have any references at hand), that the original role of Government was to ‘adMinister’ the decisions of the people…NOT TO MAKE AND IMPLEMENT THE DECISION FOR THE PEOPLE!
Many great people have crumbled when their illusions have been shattered by the revelation that as Ministers, they are not really supposed to Minister their own ideas…they must Minister the decisions of their constituents…no matter how insane. And is it possible that much of that insanity comes from the vested interests of powerful lobby-groups and the interminable political pressures generated therefrom?…
I reckon Peter Garrett may have been smackin’ up against these revelations for a while now. Though not a very pleasant place to be, it is a very valuable place to be in terms of learning to be a better human. The big question being, will he die on his feet on continue to live on his knees?
The danger is, as is all too often the case, and as Yoda so deftly put it; “Once you journey down the Dark path, Forever will it dominate your destiny”…which I reckon is a bit harsh, because it doesn’t give you an out…but it illustrates my point, which is this:
If I make enough ‘compromises’ I eventually lose myself…my integrity…my soul.
I believe the current vernacular is “business as usual”?
Scenario: If I think killing is a bad thing, yet one day I find myself killing someone to protect my family, country, planet etc…does it change me? I think so…just like it changes me when I feel that I am forced to make a decision that compromises my values (i.e. selling my soul).
If I have ‘sold my soul’ and through peer/professional pressure swallow the justifications that ‘I did the right thing’, that ‘it is bigger than me’ and all the other convenient rhetoric (which looks and sounds exactly the same as ‘wisdom’ by the way), is it possible that I might succumb to outside world at the expense of my inner truth? That I start to convince myself that if I’ve done it once, I can do it again and that it is for the greater good after all?
There’s an old Sufi saying that I like. As I recall Rumi was credited with it. He said:
“Beyond all ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field…I’ll meet you there.”
Cheers
Stephen G
Author
Paul Hassing
March 17, 2010 at 11:09 am
Dang! How I WISH I’d said all that!
Author
Stephen Glanville
March 17, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Nothing is spoken or done without inspiration ol’ Bean ;-P
Haven’t you seen Xanadu? ;-P Oh crap! Bad analogy! You look nothing like Olivia…
Cheers
Stephen G
PS Would it help it I told you that that is exactly what I think every time you publish a new post?
Author
Paul Hassing Founder & Senior Writer - The Feisty Empire
March 11, 2013 at 8:52 pm
Further reading: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-03-11/insulation-inquest-told-no-training-provided/4566040