customer relations

Give your customers a moving experience.*

Many thanks for your responses to Part 1.

Your input really supercharges these everyday topics.

Now for the chequered flag!

Form guide

I thanked Neil for his technical update.

I then asked why my car was surging, gurgling and gasping if it wasn’t due to the things I described.

Neil politely posited another Delphic insight: that I used standard unleaded fuel.

Correct again. Read more

Service with a smile!*

I’ve worked in and been a customer of the car industry.

Over the years, I’ve found that positive experiences in this field are rare.

So I had to report this one immediately, that we may distil its lessons for our own use.

Ring in

When I phoned my Ford dealer’s service department last week, I got Neil^.

I said my Fiesta was due for its 10,000 km service.

Neil politely begged to differ, saying that my model’s next scheduled service was 15,000 km.

He added that he hated it when car places over serviced their customers.

This certainly got my attention. Read more

Who do you think we are?

Customers.

They’re our world.

Without them, we’re nothing – and our business folds.

Small wonder there’s so many names for these pivotal people.

But are some terms better than others?

Let’s see.

Good

Customer is nice and generic.

You can’t really go wrong here. Read more

From someone old to something new.

Thanks SO much for reading Parts 1 and 2.

Yet again, your interest has transcended my wildest hopes.

Now to our climax and conclusion.

Tears for fears

I believe all pain is bearable, if known to be of finite duration.

Sue did me a favour by saying my ordeal would be sharp but short.

I toughed it out and was astonished that she really was twice as fast as my old dentist. Read more

Into the jaws of Death. Into the mouth of Hell.

So there she was, my new dentist.

She had a kind, wise face that spoke experience.

I offered my hand with relief. ‘Hi, Sue!’

She shook her head. ‘No; I’m Kath. Sue will be with us shortly. We’re in Surgery 2.’

Shock & awe

The word ‘surgery’ rattled in my head as I entered and scanned the room.

Each wall boasted signed paintings of decisive military engagements. Perhaps Sue was my kind of woman …

When she arrived, it was a shock. Read more

How should we transfer a client?

You know how twitchy I am about grocers.

Imagine how I felt having to change dentist!

This field report has lessons on how to transfer (or receive) a client, patient or customer.

Goodbye Mr Chips

I treasured my old dentist, as evidenced here and here.

When he retired for good, I was bereft. Read more

One of my favourite maxims is  – “If you want a better answer … ask a better question.”  I love it so much it appears in the header graphic of my own blog . If you don’t believe me, just look up whatdoclientsreallywant.com.

Clients are impressed by accountants and advisers that ask questions they weren’t expecting or that they haven’t been asked before. It shows preparedness on the part of the questioner that he/she has invested time and effort in understanding the clients business and circumstances.

One of the best questions one can ask is “why?” If asked in the right way, the question of “why” can uncover a treasure trove of insights. There is a school of thought that claims that asking “why” at least 3 times in the one meeting or conversation can uncover the root cause or motivation behind any aspect of business activity undertaken by people both internal and external to an organisation. Read more

Money talks. Has it said anything to you lately?

Did you hear about the rather lucrative printer cartridge deal?

The highlight for me was the public servant who:

‘… bought enough black toner cartridges to supply the government department for 40 years — despite toner cartridges expiring after two years.’

As my taxes paid this person’s salary, I felt encouraged by her initiative and commitment.

Then I wondered if you’ve been stung by either end of the corruption cattle prod.

Tagged & Bagged

There are two sides to every story. And difficult times tend to throw these into high relief.

On one side, we have flawed humans with the power to make purchasing decisions.

On the other, hungry companies desperate to make a deal.

If a wad of loot were to find its way into a brown paper bag, and that bag were to find its way into a pocket, and the owner of that pocket were to award a lucrative contract, who would be the wiser?

This is a new area for me.

Whenever I’ve been desperate for business, I’ve been way too desperate to contribute to anyone’s slush fund.

When I’ve been in positions of power, the most I ever got was a bag of lollies from a printing firm.

Guilty!

Actually, now that I think about it, those lollies worked a treat.

They were red, like raspberries, but in the shape of a K.

Even better, they had a hard, chewy consistency (like the long-discontinued, sadly missed battleship lollies of my youth).

The flavour was intense.

The company was …

… it’s coming to me …

Kwik Kopy!

Yes! That’s right: that’s what the K was for!

A little bag of red jelly Ks came with each Kwik Kopy print order delivered.

It was a mere handful, but the effect was profound.

Enough, even, to make a man forget his aversion to phonetic spelling.

Whenever these arrived in the design studio, we fell upon them like orphan zombies.

After a few sugar hits, I started hassling the Production Manager to use Kwik Kopy

all

the

time.

Mea Culpa

And so I stand before you, a corrupt and broken citizen.

Will you flay my flesh or sympathise with my human failings?

Maybe you have even more shocking tales to tell.

Don’t be shy; there’s a lot of it about.

To get you thinking, I’ve provided some interrogation questions (sorted in decreasing likelihood of you ignoring them).

Confess!

Have you (or anyone in your business) ever:

• Taken a bribe?
• Offered one?
• Seen one change hands?
• Been beaten in a pitch because of one?
• Suspected as much?
• Been tempted to ‘grease the rails’ in your favour?

For the record, I once considered bribing my ‘builder’ to do what I’d paid him to.

But since he already had all our money (plus a lot more that didn’t belong to us) I realised the effect would be negligible.

It’s now down to you.

Think carefully.

And tell all!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

All this hit my letter box in just two days!

I must get a proper NO JUNK MAIL sign.

Each time my home-made one falls off, I have a Brazil moment.

Someone, somewhere, must benefit from this bumf.

But who?!

• Client companies?
• Ad agencies?
• Graphic designers?
• Printers?
• Paper mills?
• Plantation foresters?
• Walkers?
• Dogs?
• Customers?
• Australia Post?

Certainly not me. How about you?

Do you like receiving unsolicited print advertising?

Is (or was) it part of your business marketing mix?

Captive Audience

Keep Australia Beautiful and Eco Voice want us to read catalogues online

A fine idea. So far, they have … six.

Either it’s early days, or we really like ads in our letter box.

I’ve heard older people look forward to them as bona fide reading materials.

Perhaps the appeal is more widespread.

Perhaps I’m missing the point.

Here’s Australia Post’s take, with a handy link to Do Not Mail.

I wish they cared as much about their rubber bands.

My Do Not Fax registration ran out recently, but that’s another story.

Sign of the Times

With regard to stickers, I could move to Willougby where they’re giving ‘em away.

Maybe NO JUNK MAIL is too terse.

Perhaps I should go with the softer No Advertising Material Please.

I wonder if it makes a difference.

Boxed in

In one of my lean years, I tried a casual brochure delivery job.

By faithfully obeying NO JUNK MAIL signs, I had many brochures left over.

The distribution firm:

• Accused me of not doing my job.
• Ordered me to ignore the signs.
• Threatened to do spot checks in my territory.

When I later found great bundles of fliers dumped in vacant lots, I realised why I wasn’t trusted.

I also saw other ‘walkers’ in action. (Never any kids, though; unlike decades past.)

Some posted so carelessly, the merest zephyr strew their stuff across the street.

Not a good look for the firms who’d paid to feature.

I wrote to several, flagging their wasted budgets.

A couple replied, but without enthusiasm.

Here & Now

As our world hurtles to ruin, I feel the need to query unsolicited print advertising once more.

Therefore, do you:

• Make it?
• Get it?
• Use it?
• Love it?
• Hate it?

We’re at a crossroads.

Show us your papers!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Blink and you may miss it.

Here’s a business tip I learnt the hard way:

If you get a gig, job, order, project, piece of work or commission, do it NOW.

If you don’t, it may not be there tomorrow.

For several reasons.

Unkind Cut

A large IT firm gave me 100 recruitment ads to critique.

I toiled for much of Easter, getting 50 done.

Then I rewarded myself with a couple of days off.

When my client returned to work, he found his budget slashed by overseas corporate masters.

He was forced to cancel the project.

He paid me for what I’d done, which was half of what I could’ve done, had I pressed on.

As this happened when I was just starting out, I felt the revenue loss keenly.

Mind Altering

I was asked to source radio jingles for an automotive firm.

I offered the job to Adam, who quoted $3000.

The client approved the quote and Adam pulled several all-nighters to write, perform and record some rippers in double-quick time.

But before I could send them to the client, she abruptly changed her mind and tried to cancel the project.

Fortunately, I still had her email approval, so we had her cold.

Had Adam waited a few days, he’d have missed out on a lucrative gig.

Off Balance

Of course, this hot-iron-striking advice flies in the face of all our warm fuzzies about taking care of ourselves in business.

We’ve had wonderful suggestions about negotiating realistic deadlines, operating within our limits, maintaining work-life balance and so on.

But as GFC II threatens, I wonder if we can afford to dawdle on such shifting sands.

Vexed issues are best handled by the fine minds that inhabit this space.

And so I put it to you.

Your View

When you get a piece of business, do you:

a)    Luxuriate in the prospect and do it as, and when, you see fit.

b)    Seize it as if it were your last meal on earth and devour it on the spot.

c)    Attend to it fairly smartly, but without unseemly haste.

d)    Handle it some other way (please describe).

?

The clock’s ticking.

Let’s get to work!

…

No?

…

How about later?

…

…

Never mind.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire