Today we welcome Judy Oldmeadow to Small Business Owner. Like many small business owners, Judy’s experienced the underbelly of self-employment: back-breaking hours, loneliness and isolation. She’s come out the other side as an inspiring example of persistence; today she shares her very poignant journey with us.
Dark days
Last day of school holidays. It’s nearly dark as I push a heavy barrow round the horse yards. Forcing my overworked 53-year-old body to pick up the last of the manure.
Vaguely, I wonder if I could analyse people by their shit, as I can horses.
Calico dumped her piles by the gate as she looked for someone to take her back to her paddock.
Holly, the fiery Arab, spread hers fast and loose along the fence as she impatiently paced, neighing for attention.
Banjo, the slow-thinking beginner’s horse, deposited his huge pile under the tree where he patiently waited for something to happen.
Barrow empty at last. A final check for brushes and tack in their correct places.
I limp inside. Happy I’m alone at last, but sad I’ve only enough energy to shower and collapse into bed without eating.
For ten years I’ve been running children’s riding camps on my 22 acre property.
I know I can’t sustain this life of one camp after another, with ten kids in my one bathroom, no partner and only a teenage assistant and daily cook to help me.
At the end of each camp, no matter how tired I am, I always give each parent an encouraging report on their child’s particular skills.
Today I advised a mother to tell her nagging, blaming, attention-seeking daughter to forget horses and take up acting.
Time to stop.
A place in the sun
I lie under a walnut tree on a stunning 240 acre property, surrounded by contented Morgan mares and their foals while my imported stallion stands watch.
I smile as I watch lead mare Tanjil and her filly Yve. Tanjil’s mothering skills never cease to amaze me. Within three hours of Eve’s birth, Tanjil pushed her over to my LandCruiser to let her investigate it. Next, she nudged Yve to me and kept her there with her body, letting me touch her all over.
For three weeks Tanjil did this with all new human visitors, occasionally pushing Yve away if a person wasn’t to her liking. Now Yve is allowed to make her own choices. She’s curious, confident, friendly and respectful. Horses could teach people a lot about parenting.
I hear my husband Miles slashing the paddock ready for the fire season. I allow myself a moment of pride for our achievements.
Our Morgan herd comprises a stallion, five purebred mares, two partbred mares and three other breed mares in foal. This year we have five foals at foot, seven yearlings and one two-year-old running in the hill paddock with the nanna mares. All but one sold.
We provide agistment for the horses we breed until they’re two. This gives them the best environment for sound hoof and bone growth in a herd that develops confident personalities. We’re succeeding beyond all expectations.
Our cottage lets owners get to know their new horse in a safe environment. This month, our first two-year-olds have gone to new homes in three states – well mannered, confident, barefoot and sound.
I work with my horses to teach communication, assertiveness and self awareness while having fun.
I’m living my dream.
How did I do it?
All my life I’ve not made changes until things got bad enough. I saw myself as tough – nothing could make me cry.
Then my closest friend fought a long, heartbreaking struggle with cancer. One of her coping mechanisms was to plan her own funeral.
She designed an amazing mural for her coffin, chose the music and asked mourners to walk to the cemetery. She asked me to ride beside the hearse leading her mare Tinto – saddled, with her boots backwards in the stirrups, military style.
I agreed, thinking it’d be a lovely way to say the inevitable goodbye. At the cemetery I tied my horse to a tree and led Tinto to the grave. In the silence after the service, Tinto called and my horse answered.
A huge wail rose in me. I cried for weeks. In the supermarket. At the doctor. With visitors. Alone. Years of suppressed tears.
Worried for my sanity, a friend suggested internet dating. I didn’t even own a PC! She set me up on a hand-me-down.
After three months, I was over my depression and happy to live alone. Then I got an email from Miles Oldmeadow. My deceased friend had worked with his mum and we’d met several times.
We had much in common and many mutual friends. Two years later we married. I sold my farm and began building my new teaching facility at Samaria.
I was used to aching knees; they’d both been dislocated and lacked medial cartilage. But in our second year of marriage, my pain was everywhere. I tried to work through it, but sometimes I spent days in bed – exhausted by an hour’s work.
After a merry-go-round of tests, specialists and medication, a rheumatologist finally diagnosed fibromyalgia.
My research into managing this condition included meditation and reading about post traumatic stress. I noticed I was almost pain free when relating to horses.
Early one morning, with pain preventing sleep, I decided I’d breed safe, friendly, comfortable-to ride Morgan horses for families.
I was thrilled when Miles embraced my idea. In November 2006 we began our journey by purchasing two purebred mares.
I no longer have fibromyalgia symptoms. My depression has lifted and I’m breeding sensational horses while coaching animals and humans into harmonious relationships.
Life got bad enough. I did something about it.
Judy Oldmeadow , Owner, Samaria Creek Morgan Farm
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Author
Paul Hassing
December 1, 2009 at 9:48 am
Thank you, Jude. I sure am happy you chose to share your story with us. I know it cost you some lost sleep and tears, but I feel richer for it and suspect others will too. With gratitude and great respect, P.
Author
Arthur K
December 1, 2009 at 9:55 am
Thanks for the story, quite uplifting
Author
Judy Oldmeadow
December 1, 2009 at 10:14 am
Whoops,
I’m so new to this form of communication I replied as Paul.
I obviously still need some more tuition.LOL
I appreciate your comment too Arthur.I also feel uplifted after sharing my story,I now feel motivated to clear out my wardrobe.
Jude
Author
Paul Hassing
December 1, 2009 at 11:02 am
Good on you, Jude! This blog is all about trying, failing, learning and thriving. We wouldn’t have it any other way. You are mastering new skills at such a rate of knots it’s making my head spin. Keep up the ace work!
Author
Joanna Maxwell
December 1, 2009 at 11:37 am
Such a moving and inspiring story, you made my day. Thank you for your generosity in sharing this with us….
Joanna
Author
Judy Oldmeadow
December 1, 2009 at 11:55 am
Good Morning Joanna,
I just visited your website.I’m amazed at your herd analogy.
When I teach clients how to communicate in a horse herd they gain leadership skills and to quote you ‘to stand apart’.
I believe when we confidently stand apart others gravitate towards us.
We are teaching similar life skills with different tools.I look forward to reading more about your successes.
Judy O
Author
Stephen Glanville
December 1, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Oh! “I’m new to this blogging gig” ey? Yeah Right! ;-P
You’ve been secretly practicing for years, waiting to launch yourself on an unsuspecting world…havenchya? ;-P
She not only whispers horses, but she whispers ‘sweet everythings’ too…
Isn’t it funny…in a reasonably disturbing ‘misery loves company’ kinda way – so, ‘funny’ in the sense of ‘remarkable’ – your last 2 sentences: “Life got bad enough. I did something about it.”:
It is my long held belief and opinion, based on my own experience, that we humans do not change unless our lives are threatened.
And yes one could argue endlessly the epistemological nuances of what constitutes ‘change’…but for the purposes of this blog, I’m trusting that you’ll choose a functional, reasonable & meaningful application…
I’ve always wondered why we do that?…or don’t do that as the case may be…
And kinda almost counter to the above observation (but the same shape), I have also noticed that we will fight almost to the death to preserve or maintain something that we will fight almost to the death not to admit we are fighting for. And that ‘something’, that we are fighting almost to the death to avoid, is inconvenience.
It’s always struck me that the fighting itself is rarely considered inconvenient, but often a matter of principle or even a natural ‘fait accompli’ in response to having my convenience threatened or removed.
Perhaps Schopenhauer was onto something:
“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
Our beloved animals, have always, at least for me, been and remain our greatest teachers…pure, ‘unvested’ everything. And they don’t seem to battle with truth. They are for me the most consistently accurate detectors of everything, especially bullshit…perhaps that’s why we don’t let dogs in shops any more?
Hmmm!
A mighty fine post Judy
Cheers
Stephen G
Still on walkabout, but Paul keeps throwin’ these great guest posters in here while I’m gone…fortunately my path is as wide as it is long
Author
Judy Oldmeadow
December 1, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Thanks for the words of wisdom and support Stephen, I understood most of them.
Did you swallow a philosophical thesaurus?
I may be new to blog but my 87 year old Dad has been heard to mutter ‘Jude could talk under wet cement’
I thought you might enjoy some strange shit facts.
Foals eat their mothers manure to obtain gut flora (natures Yukult).
Stallions pee on mares manure to keep other stallions away.
Dogs love rolling in it.
Cheers,
Judy O
Author
Stephen Glanville
December 1, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Hehe! Na! Not a philosophical thesaurus…I was just raised on a lot o’ bullshit. I keep throwing it up in buckets… ;-P
Yep! The facts are appreciated. No so strange to me though…grew up with animals…lots of ‘em…all sorts
I do a variation on the stallion thing with me chooks. I pee all around the chook’s roost…it makes the foxes think twice
I pee outside all the time. It not only marks my territory and conveys my respect to everything, dogs, cats, wombats etc, thereby linking me to their communities in a meaningful and respectful fashion, but it also saves approximately 6 litres of water every time…and it’s great for the garden…so long as I don’t do it in the same place all the time 
…
Ooh! What about dogs eating the afterbirth? They love that don’t they? But one thing I had to draw the line with is when the dogs ho into the scours of the foals & calves…yuk!
Here’s one from my neck o’ the woods that you may not know…snakes are extremely patient, sensual and careful lovers…even better than Leopard Slugs
Cheers
Stephen G
Author
Susan Oakes
December 2, 2009 at 9:04 am
Hi Judy,
Thank you for sharing your story. As the others have said it is moving and provides a great example of what can be done. The words painted a picture that made me feel involved with your story.
Paul, thanks for bringing Judy’s story to us.
Susan
Author
Judy Oldmeadow
December 2, 2009 at 10:23 am
I appreciate your feedback Susan.Paul’s encouragement to tell my story has been incredibly uplifting to me.
I’m inside for a cool drink before driving 120k’s to pick up a new mare.
Creative writing time was blown out the window this morning when Miles on his way to fix a water trough phoned from the hay paddock to say a mare and two foals had gone under the fence and couldn’t or wouldn’t go back.
Problem is fixed and I’m off to fulfill my next deadline.
Author
Adam Finlay
December 2, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Great story Judy, and brave of you to share. And to live through it all too. Inspiring. Many thanks.
Author
Judy Oldmeadow
December 2, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Thankyou Adam,I’ve just visited your site.
Your calender is a must have.
I’m loving how this site is opening up a whole new world for me
while I share ‘life on the farm’ stories with artists,writers and corpororate folk.
Judy O
Author
Kath
December 2, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Gday Jude. I figured I might post a blog about our ‘Aquilla moment’ on Sunday. For those of you I haven’t met – gday, I’m Kath, I have Aquilla (a Morgan x stockhorse) bred at Jude’s place. She turns 2 this month but she is already around 15HH. Quills has been showing signs of boredom so Jude and I decided it was time to start her and see what happens. So I made my 6 hr drive from Bungendore to Samaria to visit my girl.
Jude started her slowly: testing her lead, the legs, a rear girth rope for any reaction. Then came the saddle cloth, on and off, on and off – no reaction. Quills looks at me sitting outside the roundyard – Good girl! Ok, next the saddle, same thing either side – no reaction. Quilla looks to me again – good girl I say.
Ok let’s go the bitless bridle then – no reaction. Um, right then, what next? Good idea Jude, let’s have a crack at long reins to see if she gets the turning cues….Tick! Ok…um, that was quick, now what? Next thing, there’s Jude putting a leg over the saddle..I hold my breath…waiting….no reaction. Oh wow. I’m sorry what? Get my helmet?
And there it was, within an hour she was started under saddle. Stay tuned for more next fortnight when we’ll review the same steps and no doubt continue to be amazed. You’re a legend Jude.
Author
Judy Oldmeadow
December 3, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Thankyou Kath,
I enjoyed Aquila’s first saddling too.
I appreciated your trust in me as I learnt long reining along with Aquila.
Her relaxed response when I got the reins tangled around her legs was also a wonderful affirmation for our breeding program followed by the two years in the herd.
I look forward to your next visit.
Judy