Trust Me, I’m a Hoax Speaker

30
Mar

The quality of our guest bloggers continues to blow me away. Today we welcome the very talented and very funny Graeme Bowman, corporate comedian, MC and hoax speaker. What’s a hoax speaker, you may ask? Guess you’ll just have to read on .

How many times have you clambered onto an elephant in a Thai river and had a sudden urge to pretend you were an American?

Well, it happened to me – once. I’d just landed at the steamy airport and been shoved into – not a shiny limo as expected – but a crowded, decaying bus.

A hasty, whispered question to the local host revealed that the other passengers would be in my audience the following day, an audience anticipating an illuminating address from US finance guru, Dr George Connor, and no contact whatsoever with an Aussie corporate comedian called Graeme Bowman.

Armed with this information, I sat by myself, very still and quiet, trying to look like a window fitting. A few minutes to the hotel, I thought, then I could slink away undetected.

But our friendly host had other ideas – let’s visit a few tourist spots along the way, including the popular ‘elephant-up-the-creek’ ride. And so, inevitably, I found myself sitting next to a fellow passenger on the back of an Asian aquatic pachyderm, chatting about the long, draining flight from LA, and the price of fish in Boston. Such is the life of a hoax speaker.

This is not my first on-the-job encounter with elephants. Sometimes a client asks me to help them deal with the ‘elephant in the room’ – or the ‘skeleton in the closet’. It’s often easier for an organisation to raise a difficult issue via an external speaker/MC/facilitator, especially if it’s encased in a quirky, humorous concept like a hoax.

I make a living turning ho-hum into ha-ha at conferences, product launches, VIP client events and awards dinners. An unusual business perhaps, bit with many of the same challenges you face: get the work, do the work, cope with the GFC.

A big part of my marketing strategy has been built around the maxim, ‘influence those who influence others’. That’s why, over the years, I’ve painstakingly developed good relationships with agents, speakers bureaus and professional conference and event organisers – their influence is enormous. Who are the influencers you should be targetting?

I also work at keeping my name out there in cyberspace (Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blogs, podcasts, Google Adwords) so that when a potential client is ready to buy, there’s a fair chance they’ll stumble across my profile. It’s all about finding good ways to attract attention.

Speaking of good ways to attract attention, a few days ago we all marvelled at the birth of an elephant that experts thought had already died. This resilient baby – very much alive – pulled off an amazing ‘hoax’. Bravo!

But this feat didn’t surprise me at all. After all, hoaxes and elephants sometimes go together. Trust me.

Graeme Bowman, Corporate Comedian, MC and Hoax Speaker

What others are saying

Author

Paul Hassing

March 30, 2010 at 9:41 am

Many thanks for guesting, Graeme. You’ve certainly been a generous and entertaining Twitterer for as long as I can recall.

I’m fascinated by your profession and would love to hear briefly about the BEST gig you’ve ever had.

Only if you have the time and inclination, of course.

Author

Stephen G

March 30, 2010 at 10:58 am

Speaking of elephants…did you hear about the ‘sammidge’-shop that offered $50.00 and a free ‘sammidge’ if you ordered something they didn’t have?… ;-P

Nice one Graeme…thanks for the fun post

So let me get this straight…you suck-up to important people, even though it hurts, so you’ll get noticed? Whoa! You’re really are great at this hoax stuff ey?…or are you just pretending? ;-P

Wasn’t it Nicole Kidman (she was pretending too…at the time , in that nearly old movie ‘To Die For’ that said “What’s the point of doing anything good if there’s nobody watching”?

You should’ve farted in the bus…that would’ve got some attention…oh! May be it wouldn’t…but it wouldn’t have hurt!

I love it…’Hoax Speaker…Trust me’ ;-P

Thanks again..

Cheers

Stephen G

PS Hey Paul…not the BEST gig mate, the WORST ONE…much better stories

Author

Paul Hassing

March 30, 2010 at 11:18 am

I agree, Stephen. I was tempted to go for WORST but wanted to ease Graeme into our maelstrom. Perhaps, if he’s a tough cookie, he’ll regale us with BOTH stories.

Author

Graeme Bowman

March 30, 2010 at 11:30 am

One of the best gigs I did was a hoax on World Environment Day to hundreds of VIPs in the Great Hall at the National Gallery of Victoria. It’s a fantastic space covered by a huge stained glass ceiling.

Over the years I’d seen several musical performances in there and thought, ‘Wow, one day I’d love to sing in this place.’ So I did. (When you’re a hoax speaker, you can basically do what you like!)

I re-wrote the lyrics to the Welsh battle hymn, Men of Harlech, so that they were less about bloodshed and more about turning the light off when you leave the room.

In this hoax I also introduced the concept of geomancy, which is a bit like feng shui on steroids – instead of doing it with furniture and pot-plants you do it with suburbs and forests.

The hoax also saw a third segment have its world premiere – a brilliant new way to tackle obesity. The audio clip of it, called ‘Obesity & Renewable Energy’ is here: http://bit.ly/b7FbDc

As you can imagine, with a great audience in a marvellous venue, this was a very satisfying job, from writing to performing.

Author

Paul Hassing

March 30, 2010 at 12:00 pm

WOW!

Thanks, Graeme!

Author

Frank Connolly

March 30, 2010 at 9:29 pm

I don’t know if can believe this guest blogger.

Author

Shirley

December 20, 2012 at 10:29 pm

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